ODDS

Right. I had a sitdown this afternoon and I quickly calculated what my odds of actually meeting George Lucas are.

I approached this as a simple math problem, and I kept a number of things in account, namely:

• GL is a busy person. Let's say he works 7 hours a day and sleeps 10 hours. That leaves 7 hours of free time during which he COULD run into me. (Note: figure out a way of adding weekends into the calculation).

• He lives in Florida, I live in Belgium. This might be a small problem for the "accidentally meet GL on the street whilst doing errands" plan. However, the subject has been known to travel abroad. So far Monaco, London and Cannes have been confirmed as destinations.

• Suppose I meet the man. The degree of unexpectedness of the meeting will have influence on the degree of paralysis my body and brain will experience. If I'm not made aware of a meeting beforehand, the sheer idolisation I carry for the man will turn me into a frozen, drooling, mindlessly staring zombie capable of muttering only "GEOOOORGE…… LUUUCAAAAS!". Thus I will not be able to communicate, thus rendering that "meeting" a failure.

• IF (that's supposed to be a big if, but my font size will only go so far) George actually gets around to reading this blog, its contents may scare him away from me.

So, with all that taken into account, the basic formula looks like this:

And the result is 1 in 5 millionbillionsquilliongazilliontrillion (add your own amusing "-illion" word). Even the odds of succesfully navigating an asteroid field are better.

Based on this, I'd say the odds are against me.

No, hang on.

I'd say the entire universe is against me.