FIRST CONTACT

Like I said in yesterday's post I've sent an email to george@starwars.com. Below is a transcript.

To: George Lucas (george@starwars.com)
From: Jan Van den Abeele (iamnotstalkingyou@pleasedontsue.net)

Subject: Star Wars Holiday Special, your's to destroy! PLEASE READ

Dear mr. Lucas,

It has come to my attention that you do not like the Star Wars Holiday Special. Even though millions of fans are waiting for said special to be released and to be accepted into the official canon, you persistently keep it locked up in your archives. You have even been quoted as saying: "If I had the time and a sledgehammer, I would track down every copy of that show and smash it." Personally, I couldn't agree more. If I'd have made something as magnificent as Star Wars, I wouldn't want somebody drawing a christmas hat on it and calling it "Special" either.

Storywise there's not a thing wrong with it, it's all about the execution. And about Jefferson Starship. And about one of the Golden Girl's singing along with the cantina aliens. And about Diahann Carroll singing suggestively to Itchy the wookiee. Surely that part alone provides reasons enough to destroy the thing.

But despite your gallant efforts at keeping the scourge of good taste locked away in its vault it keeps on replicating. The darkest corners of the internet are swarming with bootleg copies, yes, even Youtube has clips! I've even seen shady characters sell downloaded copies with a homeprinted cover at conventions claiming it "officially licensed". I could go on and on, but just sitting here typing my frustrations makes my eyes turn to a "sithly" yellow hue already.

So in conclusion mr. Lucas, I think it is up to us to send a clear message and I know just the thing that will get our point across: I've got a hammer and a bootleg copy of the Holiday Special right here at home. You're welcome to come over and smash it into as many pieces as you like.

Yours truly
Jan Van den Abeele

Fingers crossed!

SMASHY SMASHY!

I promised you all crazy schemes in order to get George's attention.

Here's the first scheme (in a series of "I don't know how many"):

I've read somewhere that George stated that if he had time and a hammer, he would personally track down and smash each and every copy of The Star Wars Holiday Special in order to eradicate it from human memory.

I seem to have gotten hold of a bootlegged copy of said Holiday Special (aka the thing that should not be) and a hammer.


I shall now send an email to george@starwars.com in which I invite mr. Lucas to come over and smash away!

GEEK FROM THE CRADLE TO THE GRAVE

Now that the blog is up, and the plans for the promised series of crazed stunts, deranged ideas, unbridled silliness and shameless selfpromotion are being developed, I guess it's time to tell you readers something of this idolisation of mine for the Flanelled One.

It all started when I was about 4 years old. One of my favourite pastimes back then was staring in amazement at the drawings on the covers of the books in my dad's huge sci-fi library. One day I got my chubby little hands on a "Making of Star Wars" book. As I was just a toddler, I didn't have a clue as to what was going on (I even thought the X-Wings were bad guys since they had red lasers), but the pictures and drawings in there (by McQuarrie and the Hildebrandt bros.) were even more awe-inspiring than all the other covers in the library together. Somewhere along the road we watched the movies on TV and I was completely sold. Some time later I inherited my cousins' vintage Star Wars toys (by which I mean "begged, begged, and then begged some more 'till I got them").

It was a sorry bunch: Han solo with old-chewing-gum-molded underpants, Boushh minus the helmet and through wear and tear also minus facial features and a wingless, sailless sailskiff. Still, I was as happy as a wookiee with a piece of raw meat that's hung upsidedown in a tree. From thereon the collection started growing. Here and there old figures were on sale and my parents bought them for me, others were discovered at yard sales and some were even traded for Playmobil with my classmates. Then the movies were re-released in their Special Edition formats and slowly but certainly all sorts of merchandise cropped up around me. Slowly becoming the collecting-crazed geek I am today, I bought it all. Then the internet came and trading started with people from abroad. Slowly but steadily, the collection was growing, and the release of the prequels didn't help either. Soon the collection was bursting out of my room, spreading to the attic, even forcing my mother to vacate some of her linnen closets to make room.

And it's not just Star Wars either. It's everything mr. Lucas does. THX-1138, Willow, Labyrinth, American Grafitti and it's sequel, the Indiana Jones quadrilogy, Radioland Murders and so on and so on. It's like the man has tapped into my head from before I was born and pulled out a list of things I like and then proceeded making movies about them. I even watched that awful Star Wars Holiday special several times in bad bootlegged quality!

When a friend bought me a Marc Ecko shirt for my birthday last year that said "Star Wars changed my life", we all joked about how much that was true since most of my savings go to Star Wars merchandise and most of my friends won't even watch the movies with me anymore because I can't keep myself from muttering the whole soundtrack along (including score and sound effects). In retrospect, I think the T-shirt would have been more accurate if it said "George Lucas changed my life".

GENESIS

An idea hit me last night. I was watching a TV show about people who were trying to meet their idols. Of course, as this was TV, and the whole thing was orchestrated by huge production offices and the likes, all of those people got to meet the idolised celebrity in the end. Like most people who watch things like these on their "talking fantasyworld-box", I was thinking "Wouldn't it be cool if that were me?" and "IF it were me, who would I want to meet?"

It didn't take much fantasising for a plan to start formulating in my head:

What if I'd try to meet my idol?

What if I'd try my hand at a series of crazed stunts, deranged ideas, unbridled silliness and shameless selfpromotion to grab his attention?

What if I'd try to meet…. GEORGE LUCAS?

I could document the whole process in a blog and possibly in a documentary…

Thus the plan was hatched, the blog was brewn and then the realisation sunk in: "Dear God, what have I started now?"